The current world is filled with maksiat here and there. For so-called-Muslim who wanted so very badly to commit sins, you can do so without being sinful!~ Isn’t that great?

But, of course, there’s a catch. In order to do so, you have to comply several terms and conditions.

Don’t worry, the conditions aren’t that hard at all:

1. Jangan makan rezeki Allah. Well, this is simple. All you have to do is make sure you don’t use any of Allah’s nikmat to us; namely our body, soul, thinking-ability, food, air and every single speck of substance or matter on this space of life. Easy, ne?
2. Jangan tinggal di bumi Allah. Right, move to Jupiter. Or Pluto. Wait, Pluto is no longer a planet. But all speck of place is bumi Allah. Where to go now?
3. Kalau nak melakukan maksiat, buat di tempat yang Allah takkan boleh nampak. Easier. Go to a Sealed Reality! [For those unsure of what the hell is a Sealed Reality, go read a Suzumiya Haruhi novel.] Come to think of it, where is a place where Allah cannot know of what’s going on there?
4. Apabila malaikat datang untuk cabut nyawa anda, beritahu dia, "Tolong jangan tarik nyawa saya lagi. Saya nak hidup untuk beribadah." Easy, isn’t it? All you have to do is kneel and beg the malaikat sweetly and innocently to please spare your life. Yeah, right. News flash, people. Malaikat only take orders from their God.
5. Apabila malaikat membawa anda ke neraka, jangan ikut dia. Like what our parents used to tell us when we were mere snivelling toddler, never follow nor speak to strangers. So all you have to do is stay rooted and don’t follow the malaikat.

There, people. I’ve been kind and compiled the list because I know there are people out there who called themselves Muslim yet they tried their uttermost best to go against His orders.

What should we call them? Ungrateful dumbass?

Think you’re up to it?

p/s: Just woke up after a mid-morning nap. I don’t usually sleep after coming back from Qiamullail at school, so this turn of event is particularly abnormal. Let us simply dismiss it.