SPM is still in session but I felt like putting something right. Pardon me.

I met Kak A’isyah today as she and Maryam-chan went to visit us at Maahad Pengajian Islam [us SMIans had our SPM there]. As we talked and talked, she asked me about the guy I hated a couple of posts back.

The thing with me is I lack emotion. Even if I had, it’ll be temporary. I suppose that fact is proven for my junior [Ali-san, to be exact] once commented in passing that I "hardly know what feelings are."

I can’t stay mad for a long time. If you irk me and I officially declare I hate you, I’m most likely to have you back on my good book once we had a decent, sarcasm-free conversation. One that doesn’t involve any party raking up the past.

And we [me and that guy] had a rather lengthy talk on future of aeroscience, the spitball of current politics and whatsit and just like that, the hatred was lifted.

With one exemption, though. There is an idiot I still hate. Him and only him. May he rot in hell if he refuse to repent.

And why am I writing this? For my future reference, I suppose. I have to write down my thoughts or it’ll get lost amongst other things I have in mind.

I can’t get me. I’m officially clueless about myself, except the fact that I live for Him, I love my family, love my books, my bed, my bags, my Zen-san, my…

Good day, people. Be blessed and enjoy your day.

Actually, I’m scared. I’m scared that my SPM result will be more abysmal than my already abysmal Trial result.

I’ve tried to calm myself down, but I’m still not convinced. Even if I share this one thought out to any random person, I’m positive she or he will tell me the exact same thing I keep repeating to myself.

What’s the point of listening to empty thought again and again?